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Time is running out


The sand in the hourglass measuring the remaining time in my life is running out.

 

The past couple of days have been very difficult. My energy is low. My breathing more laboured. I have by times felt nauseous at the thought of eating. Overall I have never felt so weak. My body is shutting down.

 

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"The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve, but a reality to experience." Frank Herbert, Dune

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I know there is a time limit on the human body. I once read that human beings had evolved to live between 50 and 60 years, but 20th Century science and medicine had extended lifespans to 80+ years. About a year ago I looked back at males in my family. My father and my two grandfathers lived into their early 80s so I concluded I might have another decade. What I failed to consider is longevity on the female side of the family. My mom died at 78. Her mother at 77. Mom's sister at the very young age of 44. Seems my genetics line up more with the females of the Reeves/Tyndall families.

 

All this to say I don't know how many more entries there will be. I began writing this to help myself. I wanted to be clear about what I was doing and how I was feeling. I also wanted to advocate for MAiD (Medical Assistance in Dying) which I believe has given Canadians a compassionate end-of-life choice. We have been helping our animals and pets end their suffering. Now we can help ourselves. MAiD is not for everyone, but for those suffering a terminal illness, it is a human and humane ending. I believe there are proper protections built in to the process that will prevent misuse. But, as I've said before, it is legislation and not currently a human right so a political party with a different agenda could rescind it. 

 

What I did not expect when I began writing are all the stories about how we worked together. I am immensely grateful for what you have shared with me and with each other. What has happened is that we have created a temporary community that spreads across Canada and out into places around the globe. It intersects with many different languages, cultures, and peoples. 

 

I have a few other things I'm hoping to post including my reflections on leadership, but I just don't know how much time and energy I have left.

 

Thanks again for sharing.

Comments

  1. UnknownNovember 1, 2022 at 11:03 AM

    Hey Craig - I want to wish you Bon Voyage! on your journey.
    On November 19, 2018, I was there when my friend Herb used the California version of MAID to leave this mortal realm. He chose the Thanksgiving weekend. The experience was moving and peaceful, but also disturbing and challenging in terms of the norms those present had grown up with in this highly death-averse and affluent society. I salute your courage and vision. You and Mary and your whole family are in my thoughts and prayers at this time of saying farewells and waiting for a new beginning.
    If you cross paths with my late godmother, Kath Hallett, say hello from PEI. Kath died in Wales on Wednesday, October 26 at the age of 96...she went willingly and with joy. Enjoy every moment! Lobie

    ReplyDelete
  2. KimNovember 7, 2022 at 11:16 PM

    I wanted to wish you the best as you end this journey, and move to the next.

    I too have sarcoidosis, and it has been a long and painful journey. While has not taken my quality of life (and I hope it never does again), I think i may understand some of your struggle. I too looked into the MAID program, to see if i could qualify, in case I needed it.

    Thank you for sharing your story of courage. I can see that you will be deeply missed, and those whose lives you touched will be forever greatful. I am grateful.

    Let's hope that in our next lives, there is no sarcoidosis.

    Wishing you a wonderful and peaceful journey.
    XOXO

    ReplyDelete

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