Fading Into Elderliness

Thursday, March 17, 2022

9:32 PM

I watched a brief video of myself the other day. I beginning to walk like an old man. #elderliness

I have never been very good at self care. No, that’s not right. I’m fucking awful at self care. I have been fortunate to have good health and to be able to be physically active. I also have DNA that keeps me going. That go-go-go get-things-done comes mostly from my mother who was always doing something.

Now I’m fading into elderliness. My body is failing. I am almost ticking items off the you-know-you’re-a-senior when these happen:

You have a disease
Replacement parts are required

Comments

Counting

It’s feels strange to be counting the rest of my life in weeks and days and curling games on TV. While we haven’t finalized the date for MAiD we are aiming for early November. Some examples… Last week, confirmation of my cataract surgery arrived by mail with a date later in November. Nope. I won’t be here for that. A couple of days ago, a friend and former colleague dropped off some cookies and stayed for a brief visit. She said she would be out of province for about six weeks. As she was leaving, she said she would see me later. Nope. I won’t be here when you get back. The other evening I was asked why I was staying up so late. I replied that I was watching a women’s curling game and for me there were just a few games left in my life to watch so I was staying up. And all of a sudden it doesn’t feel as if there is enough time to make sure all the other things are looked after. One major item has been checked off the list: organizing and pre-paying for cremation. All I needed was ...

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