First Wodin’s Day in August

Wednesday, August 3, 2022

9:10 PM

I’ve been searching all day for the word that best describes how I felt when I walked free of the leash oxygen tubing to which I’ve been tied for the past fifteen days. Vital Aire brought me a portable oxygen concentrator (POC). I can sling POC over my shoulder and just walk away. Like a dog that knows just how the long the rope is in his yard, I walked past that mark and felt giddily free. As I walked to the perimeter of the yard, it was at once liberating and exhilarating yet surreal, almost like I was in one of those VR games. But I still haven’t found the words to describe how joyous that moment was.

I haven’t been on FB much. I needed to take a couple of days off from writing. I was feeling a little wrung out.

I signed up for a book club gathering at Milton Community Hall. I wanted to read something different and have an opportunity to engage with a published writer. The author and poet is Jane Ledwell and her book is called “return of the wild goose, a fierce remembrance of PEI activist Katherine Hughes”. I was zoomed in. It was a treat to ask Jane about her subject, Katherine Hughes. Jane also read a few of her favourite poems from the book and gave us an understanding of why she wrote each. Jane is engaging, thoughtful, analytical, funny, and tells a good story. I highly recommend picking up a copy of her book. Thanks to staff at Miltonvale Park for organizing this gathering. I’ll get my copy of Jane’s book back to you soon. Now that I’m free and can go places, I intend to, such as returning a book.

As a post script to this post (and this one is for my radio colleagues from the 70s and 80s), I experienced an unexpected flashback with POC. The unit is in a black case and it’s heavy. It has a strap to make it more convenient to carry. When I hoisted POC over my shoulder, my memory skipped back to my days of lugging around a Nagra reel-to-reel tape machine in the Yukon and NWT recording musicians and poets in coffee shops and bars. It was an excellent tape machine that allowed for high quality recordings at 15 ips; far superior to recordings on a cassette machine. The only thing about recording at that speed is you had to carry quite a few small reels and change tapes often. Fond memories of musicians like John Steins, Manfred Jansson, Daniel Janke, Willíe G, the band Goin’ South, and so many others.

One of my favourite albums is Midnight Light. I still listen to it after more than 40 years because it takes me back to the magical light and skies of summers in the Yukon. The musicians are John Steins and Scott Sheerin. This is the haunting instrumental Night Sky: Night Sky

YEEFm

Comments

Counting

It’s feels strange to be counting the rest of my life in weeks and days and curling games on TV. While we haven’t finalized the date for MAiD we are aiming for early November. Some examples… Last week, confirmation of my cataract surgery arrived by mail with a date later in November. Nope. I won’t be here for that. A couple of days ago, a friend and former colleague dropped off some cookies and stayed for a brief visit. She said she would be out of province for about six weeks. As she was leaving, she said she would see me later. Nope. I won’t be here when you get back. The other evening I was asked why I was staying up so late. I replied that I was watching a women’s curling game and for me there were just a few games left in my life to watch so I was staying up. And all of a sudden it doesn’t feel as if there is enough time to make sure all the other things are looked after. One major item has been checked off the list: organizing and pre-paying for cremation. All I needed was ...

After the Transplant Doctor Consultation

Last Friday started sunny and calm outside. Inside, another story. Getting out of bed is very difficult most days. It takes a lot of energy and oxygen to get myself going. This morning I found myself in a coughing loop. The more I coughed, the lower my blood oxygen level dropped. Coughing is physically exhausting. After being unable to stop coughing, I switched from the concentrator to a tank of oxygen which gives me purer O2 and helps break the coughing loop. It worked, but I had used a lot of physical energy. I only have so much and I needed to save some for my meeting with a doctor from the transplant team at Toronto General Hospital. The meeting started late because the video conferencing app Microsoft Teams didn’t work. [surprise, surprise; btw I hate MS Teams] We finally got the audio portion working, but the doctor could not see us. We could see her and we could hear each other. The first 30 minutes or so was the doctor exploring my health history. I’m getting very good at telli...

Time is running out

The sand in the hourglass measuring the remaining time in my life is running out. The past couple of days have been very difficult. My energy is low. My breathing more laboured. I have by times felt nauseous at the thought of eating. Overall I have never felt so weak. My body is shutting down. ------------------------ "The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve , but a reality to experience." Frank Herbert, Dune ------------------------ I know there is a time limit on the human body. I once read that human beings had evolved to live between 50 and 60 years, but 20th Century science and medicine had extended lifespans to 80+ years. About a year ago I looked back at males in my family. My father and my two grandfathers lived into their early 80s so I concluded I might have another decade. What I failed to consider is longevity on the female side of the family. My mom died at 78. Her mother at 77. Mom's sister at the very young age of 44. Seems my genetics line...

Journey to Another Place

Search This Blog