Looking At What's Next

Sunday, September 11, 2022

6:22 PM

I knew the decline in my overall health was precipitous, but until I began looking back through photos from four, five and six months ago, I don't think I fully understood where I'm at.

Six months ago, I was out and about, fully mobile, walking several klicks a day. Now I'm housebound. I am so oxygen deprived even on oxygen just about any activity leaves me winded or coughing or both. To get some homemade soup out of the fridge, into a bowl, and re-heated it in the microwave was a major effort.

I'm weak. I have little energy. Getting out of bed is a ten-minute production. We all know where this is heading.

I still enjoy reading. Watching a little TV now we're back in town is a treat. If you have not yet seen CBC's Race Against The Tide, treat yourself. I think the first season with Shaun Mjumder is more fun than Season 2 with Maestro Fresh Wes as host. To be fair, Season 1 had a PEI connection.

Monday, I'm going to the Pulmonary Rehab Clinic to see if they can help me regain some strength.

The week wraps up with my first MAiD consultation. Through this process, I am required to meet with two doctors. I am more than curious about the questions they will ask.

Comments

Counting

It’s feels strange to be counting the rest of my life in weeks and days and curling games on TV. While we haven’t finalized the date for MAiD we are aiming for early November. Some examples… Last week, confirmation of my cataract surgery arrived by mail with a date later in November. Nope. I won’t be here for that. A couple of days ago, a friend and former colleague dropped off some cookies and stayed for a brief visit. She said she would be out of province for about six weeks. As she was leaving, she said she would see me later. Nope. I won’t be here when you get back. The other evening I was asked why I was staying up so late. I replied that I was watching a women’s curling game and for me there were just a few games left in my life to watch so I was staying up. And all of a sudden it doesn’t feel as if there is enough time to make sure all the other things are looked after. One major item has been checked off the list: organizing and pre-paying for cremation. All I needed was for

How Are You Doing Anyways?

Fewer than three weeks away from the end of my life and I’m asking myself how am I doing. As I am trying to live in the moment as much as is possible, I can say I’m doing alright. I can’t help myself when my mind wanders to contemplate that just after four in the afternoon in early November there will be no more me. In this brain which is always crackling with thought energy there will be nothing. An emptiness. It’s hard to wrap my head around it. I think this is how and why some find comfort in the concept of an afterlife. They say to themselves, “surely this can’t be it“. But I think it is. We have one chance at life and if there is something after, it’s not who we were, if that makes sense. I can also see why people believe in miracles. They hope and hope that something supernatural will occur and magically they will be cured or returned to a previous state of better health. I’m not frightened of what will be coming. In many ways, the end will be a relief. No more desperate ga

Letter from a friend

This note came from a friend via Messenger: Hi Craig, I have been meaning to write to you yet struggling to find the words. I have been following your journey closely and my admiration for you continues to grow. So I finally decided to just write, thinking the words would come. Somehow, they still fail me but I'll do my best. When I moved to Canada almost two decades ago, you were among the first people I met. I visited you at CBC where you gave me a tour and chatted with me about my dreams of someday working in radio. You told me about college programs, made calls, helped me apply. And thus, the trajectory of my Canadian adventure changed. It turned into my Canadian life instead. So many wonderful things happened to me, so many great friendships, some of the very best in fact, were formed as a direct result of meeting you. Throughout the next couple of decades, our paths would continue to cross regularly, most consistently at Starbucks. It was always so great to see you come in on

Journey to Another Place

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