September Already

Saturday, September 3, 2022

9:25 AM

Many thanks to my friends and former colleagues at IRSA for the card full of good wishes and the surprise gift basket. I was having a bit of a down day and it lifted my spirits immensely.

My breathing has improved a little over the past couple days. Instead of needing oxygen at 8 L/m when at rest, I now need 6. And when moving around or doing something requiring exertion, instead of 10 L/m, it’s now 8. For the past two days, I have been able to do some tai chi warm-up exercises again, which is good for stretching and breathing. I also did some slow pacing back and forth around the hospital bed. My legs were a little wobbly after all that, but it was a good wobbly, if you get my drift.

My eldest son Scott is here from Vancouver for a visit. Really good to spend time with him, especially as we can play backgammon and cribbage. We are in similar home situations in that normally no one will play those games with us so it’s brought some fun and chuckles into this hospital room. Scott reminded me of the time many years ago, before we moved to PEI, when we were at the cottage one summer playing cribbage. We played each hand but trying to do a different accent with each. One hand with a Russian accent, next hand with a pirate accent, next with Scottish, Irish, Swedish chef, and so on. We laughed so hard we sometimes forgot whose crib it was.

From the date written on the whiteboard in my room, I see the month has slipped from August to September. And, from the window in my room, I can see the season sliding from summer into fall. It’s interesting how the light changes with temperature and season. The sky goes from a hazy blue with summer heat to a crisp blue with cooler temps.

There’s a quiet effort to get me out on a weekend pass so I can get some sleep and rest. We will see what comes to pass.

Comments

Counting

It’s feels strange to be counting the rest of my life in weeks and days and curling games on TV. While we haven’t finalized the date for MAiD we are aiming for early November. Some examples… Last week, confirmation of my cataract surgery arrived by mail with a date later in November. Nope. I won’t be here for that. A couple of days ago, a friend and former colleague dropped off some cookies and stayed for a brief visit. She said she would be out of province for about six weeks. As she was leaving, she said she would see me later. Nope. I won’t be here when you get back. The other evening I was asked why I was staying up so late. I replied that I was watching a women’s curling game and for me there were just a few games left in my life to watch so I was staying up. And all of a sudden it doesn’t feel as if there is enough time to make sure all the other things are looked after. One major item has been checked off the list: organizing and pre-paying for cremation. All I needed was ...

After the Transplant Doctor Consultation

Last Friday started sunny and calm outside. Inside, another story. Getting out of bed is very difficult most days. It takes a lot of energy and oxygen to get myself going. This morning I found myself in a coughing loop. The more I coughed, the lower my blood oxygen level dropped. Coughing is physically exhausting. After being unable to stop coughing, I switched from the concentrator to a tank of oxygen which gives me purer O2 and helps break the coughing loop. It worked, but I had used a lot of physical energy. I only have so much and I needed to save some for my meeting with a doctor from the transplant team at Toronto General Hospital. The meeting started late because the video conferencing app Microsoft Teams didn’t work. [surprise, surprise; btw I hate MS Teams] We finally got the audio portion working, but the doctor could not see us. We could see her and we could hear each other. The first 30 minutes or so was the doctor exploring my health history. I’m getting very good at telli...

Time is running out

The sand in the hourglass measuring the remaining time in my life is running out. The past couple of days have been very difficult. My energy is low. My breathing more laboured. I have by times felt nauseous at the thought of eating. Overall I have never felt so weak. My body is shutting down. ------------------------ "The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve , but a reality to experience." Frank Herbert, Dune ------------------------ I know there is a time limit on the human body. I once read that human beings had evolved to live between 50 and 60 years, but 20th Century science and medicine had extended lifespans to 80+ years. About a year ago I looked back at males in my family. My father and my two grandfathers lived into their early 80s so I concluded I might have another decade. What I failed to consider is longevity on the female side of the family. My mom died at 78. Her mother at 77. Mom's sister at the very young age of 44. Seems my genetics line...

Journey to Another Place

Search This Blog